The essence of the family is WE: caring for both of us, about ourselves and about you, about our couple. We were separate, and we became together, we became a couple: you become part of me, I am part of you. “You and I – we are one.”
Internal wording: “Sometimes you want to kill you, to get a divorce – no.” “Divorce is out of the question, so we have two options: either shoot, or learn to negotiate.”
Feeling WE: “You and I are one, a continuation of each other.” The basis of proximity. We can have elements of a transaction in the family, but its basis is different: the couple lives (consciously or unconsciously) by believing in love – that the other can take care of you as of himself. Continue reading
It is probably best for close people to communicate without any special psychological influences, simply, directly and openly. When a relationship is good, this is how it happens, but it doesn’t always happen … But what to do when people and relationships are problematic, when a person does not respond to normal requests? Yes, in these cases you have to turn to special tools …
Attention: scary words will be heard now, but don’t be afraid: these words are followed by very understandable and well-known things in which there is nothing to worry about.
The psychological means of effective influence include civilized training, operant conditioning, involvement, building the situation, anchoring and hidden suggestions. It sounds solid and even menacing, but you will be surprised when you get acquainted with reality: it seems that you do it daily, without noticing and not thinking. And when you notice, you don’t regret it, because in the hands of wise people any tool works for good. Continue reading
To get married – do not attack, as if married not to disappear!
These are two completely different tasks: one thing is to get married, the other is to get married happily. How to get married is described in detail in the article “How to Act a Girl to Marry”: the article is not very kind, but realistic. The main thing in the science of “getting married” is 1) to learn to weed out men in love who are not going to get married in the near future with any love, and 2) to play on the man’s sense of a hunter, posing himself in front of men as a woman who needs to be won and won.
But getting married happily is another matter. This is about how to find your person, how to find a person worthy, how to build and maintain warm and open relationships. If you meet such a person, you will love him, but future happiness does not begin with a feeling of love, but with your ability to understand people. Moreover, a strong love often turns out to be rather an obstacle: the more we are in love, the more difficult it is for us to understand the features of the one who attracts us so much. Continue reading