We live for good, not personal entertainment. Our task is to leave a good mark in life, and our life is dedicated to this, and not to sleep more, eat more tasty and buy everything status. Our inner comfort is not a value, but only a tool to help us live as we should. Provide your own happiness for yourself, it’s not difficult, and be always close to joy and smart sun for loved ones. Similarly, they are only tools, and not values - well-being, interesting life, social status and other cares for oneself.
Positive, constructive, responsibility is the basis of relations to oneself, people and life. If there are difficulties that can be dealt with, we do not run away from them, but we cope with them. Difficult yourself – ask for help.
The trust. We initially treat each other as decent people. To think badly of each other without real reasons is forbidden. We do not have serious secrets from each other, and we don’t hide and tell everything that is useful to know. We don’t look into the life of another without need, but in serious cases the concept of “confidential information” is not ours. Continue reading
“No one owes nothing to nobody!” – I said thirty years ago in the book “How to treat yourself and people: practical psychology for every day.” Since then, an equal number of people have sent me both ardent thanks for this position, which gave them wisdom and peace of mind, and equally fire-breathing claims from those who began to think so, treat people like that and as a result have broken their lives.
I quote the source:
I wake up early in the morning, I need to quickly pack up: I’m flying on a business trip. I understand that I don’t have time already: things are not all gathered, but it would be nice to have breakfast. My wife is lying, but she could probably stand up and help me … I’m ready to express my reproaches to her, but I stop myself at once: “Does this woman, your beloved wife, owe you something? No. But if do you want her to get up and help you, what should you do? – … It’s good to ask her: so that she wants to help you. ” And if she gets up and does everything, what will the husband have to tell her? – Thanks. And if she doesn’t get up (“I didn’t get enough sleep, the child didn’t let me sleep all night”), what should my husband do? At least not to be offended, and maybe apologize for the anxiety. Continue reading
Discussing difficult issues is not easy. When people are addicted, they begin to speak categorically, throw a lot of negativity on their partner and just immediately talk about a lot, raising several topics at once. How to discuss this? Only if you answer the same.
“I get tired, but you don’t help me and behave as if all your whims should be fulfilled immediately!” – what to answer? Now listen to another conversation: “I’m tired and would like to discuss with you, can I count on your help?” – “Oh sure!”. If the conversation is built in the form of dialogue, it’s easier to negotiate.
You do not like the stubborn categorization of your interlocutors? Do you prefer a respectful dialogue in a conversation? Do you think the game “Who’s Got Anyone” is stupid and you would like to conduct the discussion more thoughtfully and collaboratively? So, you will like the technique, exercise and the game “What do you think?”. It’s simple: you begin to speak briefly and, expressing your thoughts briefly, ask your interlocutor: “What do you think?” If you start to behave like this, it’s easy for you to agree with your loved ones to answer you the same. Continue reading