Our family

Support Languages
“Yes, how much can I say that I'm strong and can handle it ?! I already know that. Can’t you just sympathize and let me be weak ?! (Honey, thank…

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What to do to the husband when the wife does not want sex
Let us first see what men usually do, without receiving reciprocity in the fulfillment of conjugal duty. There are familiar strategies for male behavior that could work at some stage…

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Family WE
The essence of the family is WE: caring for both of us, about ourselves and about you, about our couple. We were separate, and we became together, we became a…

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Men and women: why inequality?

Over and over again, in the comments and letters, the women write indignant messages to the editor of the Psychologist.
Hello. Please tell me, are men some experts? Are they at a brides fair, or what? They choose it, and women only develop and develop, work and work on themselves? Guys do not need it? Thank you for not being gay, not a pervert, not married, etc. But women are better. Why should they be in the position of subordinates? Why’s that?

Or:
Dear men, you need to understand that times have changed. Everyone continues to believe in the old fashioned way that a woman was created in order to create comfortable conditions for men, to cook them and to “give power”. Your views are not applicable to marriage: a union of two equal people. Children obey their parents because their parents are smarter and more experienced (by the way, when the children grow up, their parents obey them), the general is higher than the ordinary soldier. Unfortunately, a man has nothing that a priori puts him higher than a woman: one cannot say that a man is smarter, more experienced and so on by default. If in a specific situation the husband is old and smart, and the wife is young and inexperienced, she will listen to him, because he, as a person, is more experienced and smarter than her. And if spouses are close in age, in degree of education, in intellect, why is one obliged to obey the other and “give power”? Continue reading

How to be married to a general?

What woman doesn’t dream of marrying a general? That’s right, this is a real man, a strong and responsible person, you are behind him like a stone wall. Everything is so, but after work he is so tired and exhausted that at best he is no longer up to you, but at worst – he needs to be discharged by someone … Who, interestingly, guess?
How then to meet him? Any inaccuracy, especially an oversight – and you will be destroyed on the way, because to scandalize with it is as promising as resisting a nuclear explosion. Only one way out: to master the tools of a wise wife and meet her husband correctly. How? Of course, we’ll tell you.

First: your task is to receive instructions from the source. Oddly enough, this is usually not the most difficult task. Once, when your husband is full, satisfied and cheerful (suppose this is a day off or you are on vacation together), you find a reason and ask him the following question: “How do I meet you from work when you are tired? How can I help you?”.

Please note this question is simple, straightforward, not heavy and not long. Here you are not talking about your difficult feelings and feelings, do not load it with details and problems, you just need instructions: how to do it right. For a military man, this is more than understandable: any business is done according to the instructions. Continue reading

Support Languages

“Yes, how much can I say that I’m strong and can handle it ?! I already know that. Can’t you just sympathize and let me be weak ?! (Honey, thank you for your support!) ”
“I urgently need hugs, let’s see you again”
“It seems our relationship has come to an end. He has a strange project that he doesn’t even have time to write for the whole day, not to mention that we don’t see each other. Okay, I’ll pretend that everything is in order, while there is no clear evidence. (Have a nice day, dear! Successful work today! – Thank you, dear! I kiss) ”
“Thank you for listening! I feel better”
“Friends, thank you for responding! It has become much easier to let go of the situation. Your recommendations and support are invaluable! ”
These are examples of those thoughts and dialogues that over the past month have shown me that in addition to the languages ​​of love, there are different languages ​​of support. Continue reading

Is the woman responsible for the mood in the family? Are you seriously?

Recently, the conviction: “This woman is responsible for the atmosphere (mood, psychological climate) in the family”, it seems, comes from every iron. The propaganda of this madness has reached some incredible proportions.
Why do I call this belief insanity? Because it destroys marriages as briskly as uncontrolled deforestation destroys Amazon. I see it constantly, because I work with couples who are on the verge of a divorce.

Alas, for many people, the conviction “A woman is responsible for the way in the family” is not a conviction at all, but an indisputable fact (of the “wet water” level). And if the water is really wet, then with family responsibility, things are more complicated.

And if this man is sure that the woman is responsible for the psychological climate in the family, he takes off all responsibility for the family. If a woman thinks so, then she takes all this responsibility upon herself. Continue reading

What to do to the husband when the wife does not want sex

Let us first see what men usually do, without receiving reciprocity in the fulfillment of conjugal duty. There are familiar strategies for male behavior that could work at some stage of the relationship, but then ceased, or did not work initially. This is the following behavior:
1. A man requires sex, obtains sex, insists on sex, begs for sex.

Result: A woman is sick from the mere mention of sex.

2. A man surrounds a woman with increased love and care in the hope that she will appreciate and descend.

Result: A woman estimates the size of love and care and realizes that she is a Bohina! And do not dare to insult her with your dirty earthly desires.

3. A man cheats on a woman with another woman. Continue reading

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