What is love worth?
“I love you!” – what are these words?
“I love you, dear, but today is football, and football is dearer to me than you!”
“I love you, dear, but my child does not want us to meet, and I am writing you this farewell letter …”
The value of the beloved and beloved has always been influenced by local culture and accepted patterns. So, in medieval culture, the Lady of the Heart always stood above her wife. The real knight was happy to die for the Lady of his heart to wave his handkerchief, while loving his wife was not necessary at all. In the 70s, in the Slavic culture, the most common type of family was the child-centered, and the child for both parents was one of the highest values. Then for many mothers, the child was more important than his father: “My child, dear, but you can do without a man.” In the Arabian culture, no beloved can be higher than her mother: “There is only one mother in a person’s life, but there can be many loved ones.”
But no matter what culture surrounds us, each of us has our own hierarchy of life values, and each love takes its place in this hierarchy. Any girl is interested in what place she occupies in the heart of a young man: if it’s higher than beer, but lower than mother, it’s a shame. If above all other women, but after business – fine …
A survey was conducted on the Echo of Moscow radio: how to choose between a person (husband, possible husband or loved one) and a pet, beloved cat or beloved dog. According to the results of voting, if necessary, only 23% will choose a person, and 77% will choose an animal, their pet …
To ask questions about this is normal. First of all, it is important to ask these questions to oneself: how dear to me is this person, how dear in the literal sense of the word? How much am I willing (willing) to pay for the opportunity to be with him, for the right to be his beloved (beloved), for him to be happy?
How the question is posed about this in life, noted M.M. Zhvanetsky: “Riding a taxi is love. And we went by tram – no, this is not love, this is hobby. ”
But the conversation about values, about the willingness to pay – this is still not a conversation about money, it is a conversation about your hierarchy of values. To make this conversation more specific, draw a vertical scale where you put the following life values: ideas and principles, the work of your life, your favorite work, country, home, relatives and friends, children, then write separately the three most expensive things from your property and the amount of your capital. After that, answer, where is the place of the beloved among these values, above which and below which it is located.
First, answer the simpler questions: are you ready to lose any of your dearest things so that your loved one is with you? Are you ready to pay with all these things for the opportunity to live with your loved one?
These are not theoretical, but very practical questions: when and if a loved one breaks your favorite vase or car, remember your decision today. Your broken Mercedes is a natural contribution for your right to kiss your beloved woman.
Now for the money: imagine you liked a girl, you began to look after her, but suddenly it turns out that not only you like her, and they suggest you not to meet this girl anymore. You are not threatened, they offer you the amount. One hundred thousand dollars – you are an interesting young man, you will definitely meet another girl, it will not be worse. And you need money to promote your business, right? Not? And if a million dollars – have there been such real cases? Think about it
Designating such an amount is very useful: divide it by 10, name it “annual fee” and remember. If you later create a family with this girl, then while her expenses (or your expenses on her) are in the annual installment, rejoice and enjoy. And after ten years of happiness, you simply learn to live together and all unnecessary questions will disappear.
Are you ready for your beloved to quit your job, leave your city to nowhere, remain without your usual friends or leave your parents?
Probably for the sake of an accidental person you will not do this. And it is right.
Is it possible to put a loved one above their ideals and principles? If you have no ideals and principles, then you can completely. If you choose a person who looks at life the same way you do, then this question simply will not arise before you.
It is important to know that we can create our own values. In good families, it is customary to discuss and clarify common family values so that both parents and children share them. Similarly, it is useful for spouses to discuss and form common family values among themselves: when certainty arises in this matter, many specific issues are much easier to solve.