Friendship and friendship: why, how, with whom?
Each of us needs friends, everyone values friendships, but in science the phenomenon of friendship and friendship has not been studied well. Perhaps, Igor Semenovich Kon, who even wrote a book called Friendship, sorted it out best. She came out back in the 70s.
Generally speaking, friendship is a “sexless marriage”. In the sense that people do not marry each other, but all other relationships, minus sexual ones, remain with them. This is help, support, devotion, interest in each other, a joint pastime. At the same time, this happens more in marriage, and in friendship it is often more interesting and better. Friendship is the satisfaction of our needs for participation, support, in sharing our impressions.
Friendship can be between people close and not, friends and pals. But they may not be between them. Different people put different content into the word Friends and Friend. Friends should not be confused only with friends. Friends are people with whom you can have fun, but nothing more. They differ from friends in that friends can be asked for help in difficult times, but friends can’t. The right people are needed, useful contacts are useful, but it’s not at all the same as friends. A separate conversation about what a true friend is, as opposed to just a friend. One thing is for sure: good friends go to someone who knows how to be a good friend.
Usually we are friends with those who satisfy our needs – and whose needs we satisfy ourselves. Children have their own, children’s needs and their own characteristics of children’s friendship. Children in friendship are your Ownership, interesting Toy, pleasant Feeding trough, Faithful Druzhinnik is needed, sometime, the Fool-doormat is useful … In children’s friendship, usually everything is simple, open and clear. Childhood passes, part of the needs goes away, something remains, but the needs of the so-called psychotherapeutic group turn out to be practically universal for a huge part of people: Warmer, Warmer, Toilet bowl, Golden Mirror …
For most people, their friendship answers the question “Why”: they are friends because …, however, more conscious people are friends “In order”, their friendship has a meaning and purpose. Looking at friendship from this point of view, we can say that friendships are right, promising and superfluous.
Friends are needed. The absence of a friend or friendship with anyone generally speaks of personal dysfunction and creates the prerequisites for personal dysfunction. However, the circle of friends is a question of both quantity and quality of friends. The choice of friends is the most important task in life, on which a lot depends on the fate of everyone. “Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are.” See →
Friendship between a man and a woman is possible, but very often a man next to a woman only pretends to be her friend, having completely different views on her ↑. If you love each other, then learn to be friends. It is difficult to say that people love each other if the relationship between them cannot be called friendly. Good friendship is the foundation of true love.
If you are friends, think many times before introducing love and sex into your relationship. The traditional idea of friendships excludes the severity of sexual attraction, and in our culture, the introduction of love and sexual relations in friendships is a dangerous moment. See love and friendship
That there can be no friendship between women is a myth. Female friendship is no different from friendship in general, however, it has two features. Firstly, it is typical for women to discuss their problems a lot and in detail – much more and in more detail than men do. Men live more often with tasks and deeds, women live more with problems and worries. And the second feature: there is an age when friendship between women is really impossible. Little girls can be friends with each other. Adult married women can be friends with each other when they have a stable situation in families.
But if the girls do not yet have their permanent partners, if there is still the possibility of competition for the same man, in this case there can only be a temporary union between the girls, but not real friendship. If between women there is a man who is liked by both, this female friendship usually does not stand it.
Friendly relations at work are wonderful in a good team and very dangerous in a company where people are not tuned to work. Especially dangerous in such companies are the established friendships between the manager and key employees: this makes it possible for employees to ignore the requirements of the leader, treating them not as requirements of the leader.