No one owes nothing to nobody?
"No one owes nothing to nobody!" - I said thirty years ago in the book "How to treat yourself and people: practical psychology for every day." Since then, an equal…

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And what do you think? - dialogue support and vaccination against categorization
Discussing difficult issues is not easy. When people are addicted, they begin to speak categorically, throw a lot of negativity on their partner and just immediately talk about a lot,…

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Friendship and friendship: why, how, with whom?
Each of us needs friends, everyone values ​​friendships, but in science the phenomenon of friendship and friendship has not been studied well. Perhaps, Igor Semenovich Kon, who even wrote a…

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Men and women: why inequality?

Over and over again, in the comments and letters, the women write indignant messages to the editor of the Psychologist.
Hello. Please tell me, are men some experts? Are they at a brides fair, or what? They choose it, and women only develop and develop, work and work on themselves? Guys do not need it? Thank you for not being gay, not a pervert, not married, etc. But women are better. Why should they be in the position of subordinates? Why’s that?

Or:
Dear men, you need to understand that times have changed. Everyone continues to believe in the old fashioned way that a woman was created in order to create comfortable conditions for men, to cook them and to “give power”. Your views are not applicable to marriage: a union of two equal people. Children obey their parents because their parents are smarter and more experienced (by the way, when the children grow up, their parents obey them), the general is higher than the ordinary soldier. Unfortunately, a man has nothing that a priori puts him higher than a woman: one cannot say that a man is smarter, more experienced and so on by default. If in a specific situation the husband is old and smart, and the wife is young and inexperienced, she will listen to him, because he, as a person, is more experienced and smarter than her. And if spouses are close in age, in degree of education, in intellect, why is one obliged to obey the other and “give power”?

Indeed, why do men put women in a subordinate position?
Why do articles on the Psychologist (and not only on the Psychologist) in fact come from the fact that men are in some kind of privileged position, that women should adjust to them, as if they are creatures of some second kind?

Because those who are in great demand in the market can dictate their terms. In young years, the advantage is more often on the side of charming girls who can dictate their conditions to embarrassing young men in love with them. There is inequality in favor of women. In mature years, the situation changes, and confident and well-earning men find themselves in a more advantageous situation. However, women who invest in their development can change this situation and can build their relations with men on an equal footing. It is not easy, but possible.

This is – in short. And now about all this in more detail.

The first one. I am sincerely convinced that one cannot speak of any advantage of men over women. We are all different. Among men, there are smart and near-minded people, decent people and not, living as people and as animals. Women as well: these are not only blondes as heroines of jokes, this is Joan of Arc, these are the wives of the Decembrists, these are Sofya Kovalevskaya, Hedi Lamar, mother Teresa, Margaret Thatcher, Angela Merkel and many, many other amazing women who can only be admired and which most men can’t even reach. We are all different. The difference between individuals in the male and female population individually is greater than the difference between the average man and the average woman. In any case, women are not inferior to men in intelligence, and if men are better versed in the objective world, then women are better versed in the world of relationships. Men drive a car better, but in the kitchen they are worse than small children and do not know in which saucepan – enameled or steel – you need to cook porridge so that it does not burn. Men and women to measure “who is better and who is worse” is a silly and thankless thing.

The second one. In modern culture, men and women are brought up differently. If boys are raised as men, and girls as girls, then by the age of eighteen we have very different creatures. Yes, young people and girls have approximately equally developed intelligence and a similar level of education, while boys (I repeat, if they were raised according to male patterns) were taught in a difficult situation to think, not worry, make decisions, and not get upset. Men were taught to go forward and just what – not to cry. Men do not cry. Girls are being taught other things today, and you know that girls are doing this well. Girls learn to live with feelings, a little to get upset, and in a difficult election situation to worry and seek an answer within themselves, instead of calmly sorting out, counting the risks and making the best decision in time. In the end, the boys were told from childhood that they are smarter than girls and their business is business, and that girls bought dolls and strollers from childhood, focused on the role of wife and mother, and told that it’s better not to argue with the boys and to be smart at all . Girls begin to play the role of “a little fool” simply because they were brought up this way, and when it has become a tradition, it is easier (cheaper) for a girl to accept this than to fight this and prove to every stubborn man.

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