What to do to the husband when the wife does not want sex
Let us first see what men usually do, without receiving reciprocity in the fulfillment of conjugal duty. There are familiar strategies for male behavior that could work at some stage of the relationship, but then ceased, or did not work initially. This is the following behavior:
1. A man requires sex, obtains sex, insists on sex, begs for sex.
Result: A woman is sick from the mere mention of sex.
2. A man surrounds a woman with increased love and care in the hope that she will appreciate and descend.
Result: A woman estimates the size of love and care and realizes that she is a Bohina! And do not dare to insult her with your dirty earthly desires.
3. A man cheats on a woman with another woman.
Result: The mental suffering of one, two, or even all three people. If there are children, more misunderstandings with children are added. And accidental connections can damage your health.
4. A man goes into a parallel world. It can be alcohol, “tanchiki”, virtual spaces, social networks. A relatively harmless option is to head to work.
Result: A woman left alone in the real world begins to look for another man in him.
Now attention! Working strategy.
What needs to be done to her husband, as soon as he noticed that his wishes and requests are ignored:
1. Define your responsibilities as a husband. After all, you have a certain idea of the ideal family, how everything should be in this family, who plays what roles in it, who bears what responsibility for which areas. So imagine that you already live in this ideal family, you are a husband in this family. Therefore, what should you do in this family so that this family continues to remain ideal. Write to yourself the job description “Responsibilities of the head of the family”.
Important: sex with my wife is an obligation not to put.
2. To voice his duties to his wife. Listen to feedback. If necessary, adjust the obligation.
3. Fulfill all of her husband’s duties: to raise money, raise children, take out garbage, give flowers and fulfill all the agreements already with my wife. At 5+.
Do not do only one thing: do not show sexual attention to your wife.
What will happen?
You will turn the situation around 180 degrees. Create a deficit for your wife. Previously, you had to. And now it will be necessary – to her!
And while she has nothing to complain about. You are all in white.
Yes, there is one significant difficulty. However, if you are a serious person, and the previous condition “to fulfill your husband’s duties for 5+” did not cause you much spiritual protest, then conscious volitional abstinence is quite within your power.
Result: a woman begins to suspect that something is wrong.
Here he is the husband, he says the words of love, cares, does everything that is necessary … But for some reason he does not at all show her inherent interest in her.
Changes ??! No, not like that. He comes home on time, communicates politely, gives money as usual, or even more than usual.
Get sick ??! Yes, it’s peppy, he goes to the gym regularly, has not been seen on trips to doctors.
He doesn’t want me anymore ?? !! Ahh, mummies! What is wrong with me? Am I getting fat? Aged? Are you turning red? Stupid? Nightmare! My own husband does not want me!
Need to do something!
And the woman takes up the fighting.
Attention, men! Do not rush to break in response to the first dinner with candles and awkward striptease.
You just turned the situation upside down and got a chic chance to set your own rules.
Well, I flatter your vanity, the dictatorship in our democratic age of equality will not work.
However, you still did something. You have created the conditions in which you are ready to listen. Conditions in which your wife and not you are now interested in sex. Therefore, it is in her interests to listen carefully and negotiate.
Try not to spoil the moment with vengeful criticism and claims such as “how offensive you were to all these previous 148 days of abstinence.” Instead of telling stories about the past, try to focus on how everything is now with you. How would you like to have in your family.
With love and perseverance, convey your wishes to your wife, be sure to use the magic phrase after each sentence: “What do you think about this?” Do not let her go into lengthy discussions about parallel topics. You must reach a clearly defined agreement: who, when, how, how many times, and with what frequency makes efforts to make sex in your family live and be joyful and enjoyable for all of its participants. A woman, of course, will be shy, resist, and in every possible way leave in different directions from the topic. Well, let it go. In no case do not enter into a dispute. Agree, get out of the topic and continue to create her sexual deficit. And wait for the second round … Unlikely to last longer. But to move things off the ground, and that will be good.