How to teach adult children of Love with a capital letter?
Not all parents love their children, at least not always, not in all situations the parents of their children love. It is a fact. But speaking from the point of view of “must,” then “loving your children” is a parental duty. If you want, you don’t want to, but these are your children, you gave birth to them (gave birth), now you need to feed them, take care of their health and education, educate them and prepare them for future adult life. Normal parents of their children are obliged to love.
But if the children have already grown up, if they have already become adults, then from a formal point of view, the parents have fulfilled their duty, their compulsory program. It is clear that if parents loved their children for 18 years, they will not stop doing it, but they no longer have a duty to love their children.
And this means that parents have a great opportunity to start teaching the Love of their children. Attention, follow the logic …
Probably, it is very wrong if there is no warm, sincere, close relationship between parents and children. There should be a close and warm relationship between children and parents: but who should create them? While the children were children, the parents created this relationship, if only because it was their parental duty. After the majority of the children, the parents do not have this responsibility, so now let the children be responsible for the warm and close relations between the children and the parents!
Dear adult children, are you ready? Take on this job?
In the experience of our family, the children were surprised at such a statement of the question, but they accepted the challenge, at least in words. They asked why we decided to do this. In response, we asked if it was important for them to know how to love: not just respond to love, but be initiators of warm and close relationships, creators of love? Answer: “Yes, it is important!”
“But we can do that anyway ?!”
– And who taught you this? In our opinion, we have taught you this little. For 18 years we have taught you to use the love of your parents, well, once to answer this love, that’s all. You are great children, we are proud of you, but the Love skills, if you have in mind not the love that VKontakte correspondence is about, but Love with a capital letter, you still do not have this Love ability. However, we will be very glad to make a mistake and be happy for yourself and for you when you show us your Love.
For the purity of the experiments, we, parents, are now leaving the regime of love for you and will treat you well, but as consumerly as most children relate to their parents. That is, now we are not up to you, you are in some fifth place after our other interests, we can now be offended, treat you in a mood: once you respond to your good attitude towards us, and when to take it for granted and not answer with anything, or else with dissatisfaction …
So that you are aware of your successes, we now start the leaflet “I love my family” and we will write in it: 1) a daily assessment of your love for us, parents and 2) those tasks and exercises that we would recommend learning to do. To get started, we give you these exercises:
Every morning we meet parents as we love: with a joyful face, warm words (preferably each time different), a hug, a kiss.
During the day, until the evening, a couple of times to ask how to help, find reasons to at least three times thank us and never reproach us.
This is a start. Then we will load with other tasks. Are we playing
… played a year. It is clear that not everything was easy, a lot of training exercises had to be invented, but the main thing was the results. The results are excellent!
Video from Yana Happiness: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov
Talking topics: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men marry? Why are there not enough normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A fairy tale that would not be better. Fee for the opportunity to be near a beautiful woman.