In the comments on the test “I am the sun” and many articles on marital relations, you can often hear: “Domostroy does not suit me, there must be partnerships in the family!” But does everyone know what it is: partnerships? For our Russian culture this phenomenon is quite new, for some it is very like, but for someone it causes serious protests. The purpose of this article is to talk about partnerships in more detail, describe their pros and cons, and discuss who they are suitable for and who are not.
The essence of partnerships in family relations is that partners cast aside their prejudices about “how it should be in the family in general” and decide all specific issues themselves, agree on everything on an equal and free way.
There is a man, he has his own vision of possible relationships and his own interests. There is a woman, she has her own views on relationships and her plans. These free people sit down and agree on how they want to live together. And then they live by these arrangements … Continue reading
“No one owes nothing to nobody!” – I said thirty years ago in the book “How to treat yourself and people: practical psychology for every day.” Since then, an equal number of people have sent me both ardent thanks for this position, which gave them wisdom and peace of mind, and equally fire-breathing claims from those who began to think so, treat people like that and as a result have broken their lives.
I quote the source:
I wake up early in the morning, I need to quickly pack up: I’m flying on a business trip. I understand that I don’t have time already: things are not all gathered, but it would be nice to have breakfast. My wife is lying, but she could probably stand up and help me … I’m ready to express my reproaches to her, but I stop myself at once: “Does this woman, your beloved wife, owe you something? No. But if do you want her to get up and help you, what should you do? – … It’s good to ask her: so that she wants to help you. ” And if she gets up and does everything, what will the husband have to tell her? – Thanks. And if she doesn’t get up (“I didn’t get enough sleep, the child didn’t let me sleep all night”), what should my husband do? At least not to be offended, and maybe apologize for the anxiety. Continue reading
“Yes, how much can I say that I’m strong and can handle it ?! I already know that. Can’t you just sympathize and let me be weak ?! (Honey, thank you for your support!) ”
“I urgently need hugs, let’s see you again”
“It seems our relationship has come to an end. He has a strange project that he doesn’t even have time to write for the whole day, not to mention that we don’t see each other. Okay, I’ll pretend that everything is in order, while there is no clear evidence. (Have a nice day, dear! Successful work today! – Thank you, dear! I kiss) ”
“Thank you for listening! I feel better”
“Friends, thank you for responding! It has become much easier to let go of the situation. Your recommendations and support are invaluable! ”
These are examples of those thoughts and dialogues that over the past month have shown me that in addition to the languages of love, there are different languages of support. Continue reading